Wednesday, January 9, 2008

hopefully no burned bridges

I dont know what to say when i see you today
I thought i might make a joke or saw something silly
All that came out was an awkward laugh and silence
I assumed things would be the same because of the difference
I think they are worse
Because i havent exchanged words with you
I feel like a jerk
Just because water and earth separated us
Doesn't mean we are on a timer.
I dont want anything in return only that your eyes would see, your ears would hear,
and your heart open.

i have seen your open eyes

The people here are all smiles
Only a frown here and there, every once in awhile
People have changed. They seem different now
I can't put my finger on how
The feelings i felt, have been lost in space
Never have they resurfaced to find your warm embrace
Forgotten are the heartbeats that shaped me before
Til i looked over my shoulder and saw more than i thought
What attracted me most was not what you bought, not your voice, your hair, but your eyes
Those eyes of Wonder that have seen more than most
Those eyes that one day will see the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost

tears and sniffles

Don't cry angel Don't cry. Use my sleeve
Face hidden in your hands is your action
I never wanted you to leave
I thought, after, i would get another satisfaction

indoors

I dont know why i keep holding it inside
my words fall to pieces like glass
the moments i hide. the moments i confide.
Eyes staring back at me are just a figment of my imagination
just a thing of the past.

not the future

Now that you're here i know that you're gone
I can see that i was blind before
I can no longer hear the sounds of air
I can no longer smell the dew
I found out that when i see your face
and when i remember your eyes
i start to gaze on the thoughts of the past

fishing for more time

I once dreamed a dream that had an endless ocean
The sea was so far and so wide
There was no place to hide my doubts and fears of all the years that i thought of you.

megaphone

Sometimes i find myself looking at you
It seems as if i didn't notice
I don't quite understand why you were crying
I said goodbye to you, but it only lasted a few months
Now that i have your attention
I wish you could see me here
Listen with your ear please
I thought I'd take you somewhere
where only the footprints of birds have seen

fire the puppeteer

why do i have to be macho and manly. do i have to show off all the time. how come i think that is what is necessary. why cant i just be who i am and not pretend. i dont want to be some puppet that is stringed around so that everyone can see what i am doing. what i am doing is being controlled. i do not want to be controlled, at least like that. no not at all. its a waste of my time. ill throw it in the basket. dump it out the third story window. no the only thing i want to do is be myself, but i cant get over it. i cant no matter how hard i try. at the same time i am getting distracted by this other. this other is rare. rarer than a hair on my head. other is not bad. quite the opposite, but i am feeling the feeling i felt earlier. do i do what i want, my heart, or do i do what i am told, puppetted to do, or do i do nothing. i dont know. i guess this is a prayer praying for not answers but for clarity.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

eyes to the soul not to the stomach

big muscles mean nothing to you. do they? do they mean something? is it stability? is it dominance? i can be buff. i can be built like a rock if that is what it takes. i can dominate. i can not be take advantage of. is that it? am i a wuss to you? i need you to open your eyes, even for the simple fact that i need you to look into mine. i need you to see what i see, otherwise i blind. and believe me. blindedness is not something to mess with. i want you to see so i can see. i need you to. cause if you do, whether it is temporary or permantent, then i can finally see what is infront of me. just tell me when you open your eyes, so that i know when to shut mine.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

12:34am and 91st

there is a time and place where the suburbs start.
there is a time and place when the streets collide.
there is a time and place how the lines become crosseyed.
there is a time and place who people thing exist.
there is a time and place what is now gone was there.
there is a time and place why blankets entangle.
there is a time and place...